| | | | | | Tuesday, October 11, 2005 |
gnome troubles
| | I've been meaning to mention this for a while now. My bathroom has, ever since I moved in here, randomly smelled of cigarettes. I don't smoke, Frank doesn't smoke... I don't know what that is about. Its not a continuous smell though, it comes and goes. Sometimes I will be in my bathroom taking a bath, and then the smell will wash over me.
I have decided that under my sink must be a portal, and a gnome will occasionally step out for a moment to have a ciggie.
I could live with that. Its sort of an otherworldly charm thing.
But things have lately gotten worse.
Sunday my bathroom smelled of pot. I don't smoke pot, I can't smoke pot (it causes convulsions for about a week afterwards, no, no one in the medical community had ever heard of it, yes, I'm telling the truth, please stop laughing). So, I decided maybe my gnome was on vacation (frank seems to think he just got paid, scored saturday, but of course was -out- Saturday and only started to smoke under my sink sunday).
I came to the conclusion I should live and let live. As long as he didn't start a meth lab under my sink, it was okay.
Today, he went too far.
I live in a one bedroom (really one -room- with a divider) apartment. There has only been me all day.
Currently I cannot get into my bathroom.
It is LOCKED from the INSIDE and the water is RUNNING.
I don't know what this is about, but it has to stop. I am going to have to either find this gnome and set some ground rules or view this locked door as a hostile act, like maybe he's trying to annex my bathroom (I wouldn't blame him its the nicest and cleanest area in the house). There is no key hole on my side of the door, the hinges are on the inside. I tried using a credit card to jimi the door. No such luck.
I know I should be a little more freaked out that my bathroom may have been taken over by another entity (if not not a gnome maybe a poltergeist or something), but I am more curious than anything. See it sounds like the -sink- is running (full force) not the bathtub, does it have OCD and is washing hands over and over again? Is it bathing in the sink? What if it dissapears back to where it came from without unlocking the door?
Will I ever be able to pee in peace again?
EDIT: I was finally clever enough to unscrew my doorknob from the door proper and get in my bathroom that way. I walked in, the lights were off, the sink running like crazy and the whole place smelled strongly of cigarettes. I think I had just missed him.
posted by Amber at 3:53 PM
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