| | So, Happy boxing day!
I learned something this holiday.
I have really cool uncles, like if these guys were you know... 25 years younger, I'd totally hang out with them.
One of my uncles works for... I think the Public Health Department. He knows more about bugs and diseases (in terms of how vermin spread them) than like anyone I know. Just so you know, the honeybee is not going to die out (apparently they've been getting sick all across the globe. I'm imagining from ennui), and if they do, we'll have plenty of pollinators left. He's into tracker music (does that make -him- a tracker? I'm not sure), as in he composes it. It's different, but my uncle is different. My uncle has a life, I always thought he lived in Bethel Island with his cats... which he does, but he does other things, too (like go on TV and talk about rats). My uncle is cool... who the fuck knew?
My other uncle is... like something out an international spy movie. Only... he might be the bad guy. He makes like crazy money in Thailand, and pays... no taxes on it through a complicated scheme involving offshore accounts and such (-seriously-). He works for a German company selling industrial grade pumps. I know so much about pumps now, and how they are AWESOME. No, really. Pumps decaffeinate coffee, using water they CUT THROUGH STEEL, they clean roads (with water, at 2,800 atmospheres... that's a real number, too. We live at one atmosphere. And they don't screw up the roads at all, the rocks are untouched, just really really clean.), they also turn coal into diesel (which keeps China running. China apparently has been subsidizing their fuel for years, and can't afford to now, but they have a fuck load of coal, so everyone wins. Except maybe Taiwan). Okay I'll stop. Oh! No, one more thing left to tell. People need these pumps so bad in Asia, that my uncle, the Retailer, can tell them to go to hell if they want to bicker over price. There exists in the world retailers in POWER... just not booksellers. I'm in such awe of him. I'd hang out with him, but he's like light years too cool for me. It would be like trying to hang out with James Bond or something.
What I'm getting at is that, I'm an -adult- now, and my relatives have become real people to me. And some of them are awesome.
(yay!)
posted by Amber at 9:57 PM
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