| | | | | | Wednesday, September 29, 2004 |
day before school
| | Wow, first of all, I am pretty sure my dental hygenist has a personal problem with plaque (I had to go get my teeth professionally deep cleaned, and it was so deep it required shots, four of them). But I do not want to talk about my dribbly and painful experience at the dentist surprisingly.
Yeah, I went out to dinner with Sterling tonight (he paid), it was nice, but then I am trying to remember the last time I didn't enjoy hanging out with him... well I'll get back to you on that. Yeah, I got all togged up for him... but he doesn't notice or really care, which is fine. I think I do it so that I can at least get pretty for someone, because I rarely get dressed up for myself. (although it is a continual blow to the pride that my incredibly handsome friend wouldn't bat an eye if I showed up in hooker apparel... [the one good thing about Michael Johnson I always felt attractive around him.. oh and Nick Tsurumoto too, and it was a safe attractive, not like they were going to jump me or anything]) Enough of this rant anyway.
So yeah, I talked to Jacob last night. He got pissed at me and then asked me to answer three questions: Where is you life going? Do you enjoy your life? and Why do you do the things you do? I thought they were excellent questions I answered them, but he was displeased with my answers. He said a lot of really mean things about my intelligence and then signed off, and while 6 months ago this would have had me in tears, last night, I was totally okay. Really. It was nice, I think I am growing.
EDIT
Romance is not dead. It is being kept alive by a few. I was extraordinarily touched to find out that Nick calls me "the lady Amber" when referring to me in conversation with others (althought truth be told I am not now nor have ever been much of a lady). Here's to me never falling off the lady pedastool. And for the last three nights in a row, he has signed off referring to me as "love" (eg. "well night now you dream well and sleep well. night love."). As stupid as this might sound, little sincere things like that really do make me feel warm and fuzzy. Of course it also makes me frustrated that not everyone is like Nick... (frank replied to this with a crude statement I won't repeat here, the gist of which was: you know I love you, I am with you now, and just because I don't gush about how much I love you doesn't change that. Which is true...)
posted by Amber at 11:35 PM
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