| | | | | | Thursday, September 08, 2005 |
Hyde and nostalgia
| | I just need to stop watching That 70s Show, it is no good for me. I think I'm doing alright and then I just start getting ticked about Hyde and Donna (or rather... Hyde and JACKIE). Why is it that coming of age stories are the ones we all love? Why is it that the firsts are the most important? My first kiss was not good, my first love was wonderful, and then descended into awful, I won't talk about my first time (to perserve dignity), but it was not film standard. And all of this is okay, really, I like my life (mostly) and I remember most of the stories and enjoy them. Man, these last few years have been crazy (my c key is really being a bastard), I feel like a door slammed behind me somewhere. For the longest time I felt seventeen (from 17 until 20 really), and now I feel like my memories are being packed away somewhere. Like maybe a month ago I was talking with Sterling about making out in the backseat of a car (I've never done it, actually, I've made out lots of places, but never in the backseat), and he told me it was desperate. I realized I had forgotten how desperate making out really was. Everything was a struggle, a struggle for enough time (always had my ear out, Jacob wouldn't have noticed or cared if a brass band swept in... which reminds me of a funny story he told me, which I can't repeat), with what was an acceptable level of "intimacy", and with the mechanics themselves (when everything is urgent clothes cannot come undone fast enough). I don't have that anymore... I have my own apartment, with a door... that locks. How much more will I forget? Will I too get that distorted vision of highschool that the movies projects?
And if I do remember, can I pass it on to my kids, should I? (another conversation Sterling and I had) Is it my job as a parent to be lame? It doesn't matter right now, I am not a parent, but I wonder.
I miss talking to people, I bribed Frank with a drink so that he'd spend time with me today, and I hate doing that. I cannot wait for work to start, so I can DO something. And I MISS STERLING BADLY. I miss badminton, and swimming, and going out, and just sitting on my floor or bed (or his) for hours. I think I might be starting to get depressed... this is NOT good.
On that note, I'm heading to bed
posted by Amber at 2:37 AM
|
0 comments
0 Comments:
| |
