| | So I went to the funeral today. It wasn't AWFUL, but it sure wasn't fun. I worry that I have an incredibly inappropriate response to death. The service was a bit strange, I didn't like the priest, and there was an unfun moment where I had to bring (of all things) jam from the back of the church to the front to be placed on the altar. The priest really didn't like that. Also the music was mexican... but because the sound quality was so poor, you could only hear it not understand it... and it sounded like the beginning of a showdown (as the casket processed down the aisle). Also, a cousin gave this very long poem/speech, that was in PAINFUL rhyme. I hope, for the church's sake that the rhyme pooper/blooper is never used again (I think it drains holiness). The priest during the homily managed to plug the rennovations going on in the church... which was cheesy. I really didn't like him, he gave a really plodding speech (clumsy symbollism and very apparent that he didn't HERlinda [instead of the Spanish pronounciation, "air-LEAN-dah"], I could have done a MUCH better job). Then after mass we went to the cemetary (which, as far as cemetaries go, wasn't so nifty, I really prefer raised headstones to plaques on the ground). Where they couldn't wait for my grandmother to get back from the bathroom to start (my great aunt mary is a bitch... really). Apparently the family decided against the actual lowering of the casket (the guys did that after we left), which sort of bummed me. Then my mother went to find her father's grave... and then the crying (which had been steady bursts throughout the whole day) turned into shaking and wailing. My grandfather died about three months before I was born. Then there was the wake/reception thingy at Mary's house.
Okay, so you don't care, but here it goes anyway. My great-grandmother (Herlinda) had four daughters and two sons: Alice (Alicia), Mary (Maria), Gloria, Linda, Larry and Ernie (Maximo Ernesto). She also has one living sister, Beatrice. My grandmother is Alice, she had three kids Eddie, Mona, Patti. My mother is Mona. Eddie has two kids, Andrew and Colby. Patti has one, Roxanne. Mary has Jose (he's blind and has turrets)... and another son I can't remember anything about. Gloria has three girls, Dinky, Lisa and Christina. Linda has a boy, Anthony. Beatrice has one son, Danny, who has two boys Michael (Mikey) and Robert. I've neglected to include people's romantic partners (too confusing).
AND this is all the family I KNOW. There are many more people, other sons and daughters of the four I can't recall at the moment, Herlinda's other siblings and their kids, and so on. ALSO, to make things -fun-, my grandmother and one of her sisters (...Linda, maybe?) married two brothers (Tino and Angelo... I -think-), so everyone's -title- is confused. So, everyone you don't know and are no more than ten years older than you is your "cousin" otherwise everyone is "Tia" or "Tio"(even if it's patently not so. For example Herlinda's youngest, Ernie, is actually -younger- than Alicia's oldest... meaning that Uncle Ernie was in between my mother and her brother in age).
Just to let you know, there's totally going to be a test on this.
Anyway, it was painful, and overwhelming (I spent a good amount of time apologizing to people for growing up), and there was no liquor only beer (which I hate). A lot of talk, a lot of gossip (I know about half of SO many stories, it's not funny).
Well, I'm home now, that's all that matters.
posted by Amber at 3:16 PM
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