Jacob's birthday...sigh
| | work was work was work. I can't say that much has changed since yesterday. Still sad about Frank leaving. I keep wavering between being in denial and being depressed. I know its a good thing, for all involved really, but I can't get my heart to believe that. This next school year will be one of change (god I hope, if things keep going this way... well I can't take the thought of that), but this summer is an interim. Not unlike the summer before college... bleh I thought things were moving forward not in circles. Maybe they are moving in spirals, ascending spirals I hope.
Perhaps I need to expect less from people, then maybe they'd dissapoint me less often. Friends are really hard to find, good ones that is. I wonder why that is. (is that an actual question or a rhetorical one?) I have had too much free time to think these things over, what I have come up with is disturbing. I put in waaay more effort into all of my friendships than what I get out of them. Case in point, Michael Johnson, (haha mike you are in here now!)I love this dork, but since he got a girl he hasn't seen me and can barely keep basic facts about my life straight (meanwhile I counsel him all the time, which is something I don't mind doing, but reciprocation would be nice). So yeah Michael Johnson has promised to actually see me... I am not holding my breath, he also said he would come for my birthday, and numerous other times before that.
My roomates are out... playing croquet?! I don't get it... i will maybe meet up with Frank, definently return my videos and then either watch movies or... play neopets all night, lurking in the chatboards. Its like I can't commit to neopets enough to talk to many people.. but I can't seem to stop playing. I want a plushie grundo, and a daragan zafara and an island uni (or maybe an island ixi), I also want avatars. But restocking (stiting infront of the computer with a watch with a second hand on it waiting for the neopian stores to refill) is a level I can't be okay with, yet. So I play games... for a measely ten k a day.
posted by Amber at 6:08 PM
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