ramblings and ruminations
| | quite the day. I woke up, did some writing on my paper (did some serious panicking too, but yeah, think its all going to be okay). Sterling is apparently dead (o-chem is over but did not go well I assume). I made him enchiladas, like a bunch, because you know how it goes food= love. Frank thinks it cute when I make food, because I want so hard to please the person I cook for (rarely cook for myself, what is the point?), but this femininity doesn't' come naturally and I get frustrated, so by the time I am finished all my nice feelings are gone and I kind of have a 'you damn well better appreciate this' attitude (I made Frank a dessert once, caught the goddamned stove on fire THREE times, and the asshole was laughing at me as I am cussing at the stove, risking my safety to make him SOMETHING NICE, and he was an ASSHOLE). I went over to drop it off, and he, pobrecito, was sleeping. Apparently by waking him up when I did I was able to get his ass to a review session (or at least up for it). Which means, I didn't get to watch him eat the food... annoying (that is the best part). I hope he enjoys it ( it was a little crispy), or if he doesn't at least that the food gets eaten (I think Paul Limb will eat just about anything).
In other non culinary news, Nick IM'd me today, it was weird. It was weird because he was talking very rapidly and almost bewilderingly:
me: hello
nick: no need to be nervous [in response to my away message about my homework]
nick: why nwy?
nick: ?
nick: why hwy?
nick: okay
nick: yeah
nick: no no
nick: bad bad...
nick: dont day hi to me anymore...
nick: thats sad...
nick: (unhappy smiley)
nick: i cry..
me: what?
nick: quit...
nick: in the corner...
nick: and no one says anything to me..
nick: so i die a little inside...
nick: and then sigh....
nick: kill myself...
it was a bit dizzying to try and keep up with him. Anyhow, I have to be honest I am not sure what the hell is going on, but something is going on... that much is for sure. Up down sideways on off, couldn't tell you. Drama...sigh
In other other news
Talked to Jacob... we found out personal stuff that we both probably should have taken to our graves...
ALSO: on a vaguely related note. I have a beef to pick with god, or the people who make afterschool specials. Growing up seems to mean just doing the right thing, even if it sucks, ESPECIALLY if it sucks, and that... is sucky (well it is). And that is just part of it, I mean you don't get a party or anything if you do the right thing, you don't even get a reward, you get to keep the status quo (as in you don't fuck up)... and everyone is like yeah so what. Grumble, well its hard and part of me want a cookie. This is why I sympathize with the prodigal son's brother, I mean that guy didn't fuck up, and what did he get? Nothing. Or I guess he didn't end up in the gutter for a while, which is good but a hard thing to be thankful for, I think. No one kills the fatted calf (or whatever animal) for him, he just works, I bet he doesn't even get words of encouragement from his dad. I know what the message is here, but still its annoying. My mother says she has just recently been able to live with how the good son is treated, oh man, I have to wait 26 years to figure this shit out? Not happy, not happy at all.
Truth is, I want my cookie.
PS So Serious by ELO is so incredibly awesome I can't describe it.
posted by Amber at 12:48 AM
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