| | well... I got an extra hour of work under my belt today, and damn won't that seven fifty come in handy (still cannot get over my shitty wages). Sigh, I called my mother yesterday, and she proceeded to tell me that I need to get back on my anti-depressants. I didn't have a good retort. Yes my life is very sad right now, I have fractional friends, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with is leaving and doesn't even want to see me, I still don't have a place to live for next year, and the list could really go on and on. However, I don't feel the bonecrushing sadness I felt... in may april or march (or december, or september). I don't go to sleep wanting to kill myself but too tired to get out of bed and do it (suicidal urges versus general lethargy, argh which will win out). But, then again my mother doesn't really know it was that bad, so I don't have much to tell her, other than "no I am not going back on those." Which is true, I hated them they sucked out my soul (okay okay, they made everything kind of blah, but being dramatic is part of my soul), and I gained weight and I hated them so nuh! She's irritated that I am willing to just wait out this summer before things get better. I don't know why it bugs her, I am the one who has to live it. I guess for me, I've done this before and its not so bad, I mean it sucks, no doubt about it, but it isn't so bad. I am doing something with Sterling on Friday (who knows what? probably not taking over the world, but I can dream can't I?), its not like I am not trying. So a pox on both your houses.
Hmm... I am going to go play neopets
posted by Amber at 4:56 PM
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