| | | | | | Thursday, October 21, 2004 |
Nerd Love: or where Frank tries to be romantic and fails miserably
| | (before I start I love Victorian titles that begin like the one above. I also like the Victorian practice of capitalizing anything they thought to be Important)
Okay, short background. I love my boyfriend Frank, but he is about as romantic as two trees having sex... and its okay (most of the time) I love him anyway. For example I once intimated that it would be nice to recieve a romantic letter, and he sent me a computer print out of the Massacre at Chiosk (something like that) by Dellaquoix (horrible French, I know his name sounds like Della qua), which was done in the Romantic style of painting. I wanted a love letter, he sent me a picture of a massacre. Oh yes, it was very witty, witty enough to make me burst into tears. Or once he left me a love note on my bike and it said "Amber, insert mushy romantic stuff here, Frank."
On that note, today he tried to cheer me up saying first:
if you'll note graph x, you'll notice an increase in the amount i love you proportionate to the distance from april.
(so I guess the closer we get to April the less he will love me)
then he tried:
no, as the distance in time to point x (april 2004) increases, so too does my love fo' yo' fine ass
(since we would have to go backwards in time, the distance is negative, so now his love for me is an increasingly bigger negative number every day)
then, he tried to change the topic to music (his forte):
baby you know i love you like a dominant loves to be resolved"
(well that was nice)
but he followed it up with:
it's the interesting part of a tune where the dominant is irregularly resolved
(and he strikes out again, because now I am irregular, which has either reject garmet or bowel connotations)
and having given up utterly he leaves with:
you're like a 3 chord, kinda awkward and superflous, but kinda cool to screw with any way
So, I told him:
you are like the function -x^2 the more you talk the deeper into the negative you go
Ah the trials of dating a literalist! Poor Frank.
posted by Amber at 10:03 PM
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